The Ballad of IntegrationWare

Me boys, me boys, we love this place.
It's a laid back life at a break neck pace.
Back room talks are down right crude,
But let me tell you right now; we're gonna get sued.

Machines galore (if you can get 'em to work),
just plug it right in and damn the GPF quirk
But behind the closed doors, the comments are leud,
And I'll say it again, we're gonna get sued.

Each person who works here's a genius for sure
('least that's what it says on our resumé blurb).
We'll hire geeks and nerds, but never a prude.
I'm reading the tea leaves, we're gonna get sued.

You didn't know 'till just now, but you'd better not fuss,
You're an expert in Oracle, as well as C Plus.
We're sold every day as the Expert Dude,
I'll repeat myself now, we're gonna get sued.

Forty hours for Admin, another forty to meet
On the forty more hours we bill every week.
I had a life once, now what do I do?
I go home to relax, and work forty there too.

Our mentors are great and we've all learned a lot,
Such as close the door fast to avoid getting shot.
Twelve hours at the client, just a pear for lunch, too,
Then they go home at 5:00 and bill twelve more there too.

One, when he speaks, you know where you stand.
It's either an "At a Boy", or it's time to pound sand.
If he's loud, then you know that he's just having fun.
If he speaks in low rumbles, then assume that your done.

There's too much work and not enough time,
Don't ask for vacation, it's considered a crime.
What we send, we encrypt before we E-Mail,
But if anyone read it, we'd be goin' to jail.

The client's arriving in 3 or 4 days.
Do we have what we sold them through that salesman's haze?
No matter, let's fake it, so boys we can't fail
'Cause to do so would certainly mean goin' to jail.

Our secretary needs to know every whistle and bell,
To proofread for this bunch she needs to know how to spell.
Remember, boys, she's the only female,
So watch what you do, or we're goin' to jail.

You don't have to be crazy to work here all day,
But it certainly helps, isn't that what they say?
A dozen tech-wizards, you note we're all male?
I'm starting to get worried, we're goin' to jail.

Our Project Management's second to none,
We sell it to clients, and rake in a ton.
We use it ourselves, right? It's our own Holy Grail.
Now where did you put yours, 'cause were goin' to jail.

                -- Flip Nehrt