"Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you," she replies sweetly. "It's just
that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would
make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you'd be
protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won't you? For my peace
of mind?"
"Oh, alright, if you put it that way," he relented. "I'll do it for you.
But for safety's sake, better give me a couple."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who
had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well,
we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end
the discussion.
With a flourish of finality, the Greek says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced it to women!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in
the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a striptease in front of an old John
Deere tractor.
Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off the
right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his
shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls
fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt
from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya
doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me 'n the wife been havin trouble