6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?
8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we
do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you
have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging. It must be really great to be on such close terms with God
and his son, even better than you and your own Dad, eh?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig
was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full
of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to
build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do
you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said, "'Holy Crap! A
talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.