*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go
home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday
we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at
the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out
of the basket and onto the road." When the teacher asked for the moral of
the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Little
Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the
chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of
the 12 eggs hatched."; Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the
story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Next
up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his
plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it
crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the
middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but
then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20
more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten
with his bare hands." The teacher looked a little shocked. After
clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this
story. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been
drinking."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so
for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents
what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up
to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a
while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is
Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby
brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little
Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it
better," said the dad. "Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went
off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his
baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that
his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went
to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom,
he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.
Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't
there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's
room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was
surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, "OH!!
Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work
force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the
future is in deep shit!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new
recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.