50 of the Worst Business Names

February 26, 2013 by heather Leave a Comment

The name of a business can be one of the most important factors in how successful it is. A potential customerís only interaction with a store may be seeing its sign as they drive by during their day or reading its name in a list of local businesses. A name has to be unique, give a good sense of the business, and sound good on the tongue. Unfortunately, many businesses Ė even some large chains and corporations Ė simply do not stop to think about what exactly their name is projecting to the world. Here is a collection of 50 of the worst of these terrible business names from across the world.

1. Doggy Style Pet Shop

http://www.biddingforgood.com/LaSalleIISpringThaw/151732453/154318183.336.255.gif
Sometimes, the loveliest work is done with those on all fours.
2. Megaflicks
http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4039/4622220875_80eff7c9ce.jpg
Even a properly sound name can induce snickers when the wrong font is used.

3. Kids Exchange
http://www.nedhardy.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2010/october/worst_business_names/worst_business_name_ever_1.jpg
A bit of poor formatting turns the store from a shop for children to a stop for those who think their son plays with too many dolls.
4. Flooz.com
http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/flooz.jpg
It is not a large leap to think that this picture is calling Miss Goldberg a strumpet.
5. The Golden Shower Restaurant
http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2006/7/18/129519_9b5116e5-b51b-4b46-b12c-afdbd4978faf_prod.jpg
We do not recommend that you try the lemonade or butter dip.
6. Fifth Third Bank
http://www.belleislefunrun.com/images/logos/53logo-large.jpg
This bankís name is a quick rearrangement away from being an allusion to racism and inequality on top of being incredibly boring.
7. Analtech
http://4funz.com/Funny-Pictures/unfortunately-named-businesses/img-unfortunately-named-businesses-analtech-1144
Despite the name, you will not be able to buy any complicated sex toys designed for rectal insertion.
8. Big Dick Warehousing and Storage

http://i.imgur.com/Yq52m.jpg

If you are going to store your things, then you might as well do so with Little Richardís older brother.

9. Mammoth Erection
http://weworkforcheese.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/mammoth.gif
Their number is the one you call when you cannot manage to get it up on your own.
10. Badcock Home and Furniture
http://image.mapmuse.com/images/all/logo_BADCOCK_HOME_FURNITURE_AND_MORE.gif
Badcock goes firmly high up on the list of unfortunate last names to have when starting a business.
11. Bunghole Liquors
http://www.liloia.com/images/peabody.gif
Drinking liquor through your bunghole may in fact cause serious health issues or even death.
12. AssCompact
http://static6.businessinsider.com/image/4fe8ae2feab8ea151b000008-400-300/ass-compact.jpg
The only explanation we can come up with for this risk management companyís name is ďCrazy Germans.Ē
13. PEDO Diapers

http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/4fe8b07a6bb3f76844000006-400-300/pedo-diapers.jpg

Supposedly, PEDO is an acronym, but we were unable to find what exactly it stands for when browsing the company site.
14. Siemens
http://www.jazdchemicals.com/chemyellowpages/content/download.htm?contentSetId=50529&contentId=53447&contentSetTypeId=4&pageTypeId=5
One of the largest companies on the list, Siemens makes huge deposits into its bank regularly.
15. Herpes Pizza
http://www.weirdexistence.com/img/weird/weird-company-names/weird-company-names06.jpg
When someone gives you the gift of pizza, be sure to share that gift with your friends.
16. Hooker Furniture
http://www.sunriseconsult.com/portals/0/hooker_furniture.gif
The tag line should read ďWe donít sell just beds!Ē Hookers need couches and desks as well.
17. Hookerís Funeral Home
http://www.weirdexistence.com/img/weird/weird-company-names/weird-company-names08.jpg
If this funeral home was located in Washington D.C., it might be a favorite stop for some shady politicians looking to cover their tracks.
18. Butt Drilling

http://signsoflaughter.com/images/butt-drilling.jpg
They will dig hard, dig deep, and they will not rest until the hole is wide enough to allow a steady stream of liquid through it.
19. Cumbria Storage

This name actually seems quite alright until you are directed to their website at cumstore.co.uk.
20. Therapist Finder

With the ambiguous capitalization seen in website names, this business may get traffic for those looking for nonconsensual relationships.

21. Killer for Hire
http://lh4.ggpht.com/r9FGiJ4V2HVsCadw-eBPzj_O8z5obMh5ynCSY68otQUqG34ej1f2HixS1yD-l7FJfOundmmf9S8S8hDqp3KUk2c=s285-c
This company actually lives up to its name and is responsible for millions of deaths a year. Those deaths just happen to be mostly insects.
22. Hindenburger
http://pannonica.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/hindenburger.jpg
This flame broiled burger shop would venture into epic territory if they had a zeppelin delivery service.
23. Thai Me Up
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9nXvto0aIlX8aIZLVscTxFoKzb5cwqqh5cfNLdA2xZffPt3Jq

Chopsticks are hard enough to use when you have full motion of your limbs.

24. Couche-Tard
http://blog.virtuallogistics.ca/Portals/36315/images/Couche-Tard_logo.png
The name means ďsleep lateĒ in French, but it sounds like they are marketing to sedentary folk who have had their minds rotted by television.
25. Eat Here and Get Gas
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVatPu2oS7NvpbDt82WRwyAZ2KhIeZXYb6vQMYA8lwfe3BZ3iuag
It may not be the first convenience store to sell food and gas, but it is one of the loudest claimants of the fact.
26. Fuk Mi Sushi and Seafood

http://img.xcitefun.net/users/2009/08/107908,xcitefun-a89-fukmi.jpg

The owner is likely wondering why their wait staff is consistently being groped.

27. S.T.D. Contractors
http://ecofrennetwork.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/236961_f248.jpg

This would be the perfect name for a professional vaccination test subject company.
28. Fast Taco
http://xaxor.com/images/Business-names-gone-wrong/Business-names-gone-wrong01.jpg
Another victim of poor sign design, Fast Taco may be trying to subliminally add some truth to advertising.
29. P.C.P Dining
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-chinese-business-names-14.jpg
Their food is so good, you might rip off your skin and bite your neighbor just for some leftovers.
30. Pu Pu Hot Pot
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRX749G-4zGEpAG4c0y-6CkgAvRrE84biYpPoapOH0brzC1tPbUxw
Stop by for a steaming bowl of deliciousness.
31. S&M Family Outlet
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRxR85GT40XpgyyPO7Mk6p8x9d1PNQPiL10KjXgNNYEThYixO1Rlg
Sometimes that bratty little child just needs a good spanking and a ball gag.
32. Hugh Jass Burgers
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4086/5092361590_e5ca2821a5.jpg
This is undoubtedly the most clever and subtle double entendre yet. As long as the burgers live up to the name, it could be a successful chain outside of the Bible Belt.
33. Jack the Stripper

http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/247801/slide_247801_1453882_free.jpg?1346406386000
The point of a business name is not to imply that you will be finding your customers in a dark alley to deliver your goods, in a manner of speaking.

34. Who Represents? Talent Management Finder
http://images2.makefive.com/images/entertainment/comedy/top-5-easily-mispronounced-domain-names/whorepresentscom-7.png
When looking at the website, http://www.whorepresents.com/, you might think the company caters to bachelor parties.

35. Phat Phuc Noodle Bar

http://www.you-can-be-funny.com/images/phatfucnoodlebar.jpg
The website for Phat Phuc says that the name translated to ďHappy BuddhaĒ in Vietnamese. We are not sure if they are just pulling our legs.
36. Wok and Roll
http://www.oakparkdining.com/www.oakparkdining.com/images/large/wok-n-roll-380x285.jpg
They serve the kind of food that just soothes the soul.
37. Cabbages and Condoms Thai Restaurant
http://www.weirdexistence.com/img/weird/weird-company-names/weird-company-names07.jpg
There really just are not any words for this one. Perhaps cabbage is seen as an aphrodisiac in Vietnamese culture.
38. Know Knew Books
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5316/5878823635_c07892394b_z.jpg
The attempt to be clever fails thanks to its incoherence and the negative advertising.
39. Fu King Restaurant
http://www.keithlocke.net/FuKingChinese.JPG
Some of the interesting Asian names toy the line between clever plays on wording and terrible puns, but this one merely seems a childish attempt to be lewd on a billboard.
40. The Dress Barn
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FzDXq67pSDs/T7MP5JF0TAI/AAAAAAAAEOM/WyP0VY7l6qw/s1600/Dress+Barn.jpg
A clothing store that caters to plus-sized women is a great idea, but almost calling your clientele livestock is not going to get them rushing in the door.
41. Gross Convenience Store
http://www.interestingideas.com/roadside/names/Gross72.jpg
People are scared enough of convenience store food as it is, even if those corn dogs sitting under the heat lamp since yesterday are tasty.
42. Amedisys
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3Wyc4GNbNrM/TBgeMHg6v4I/AAAAAAAAAds/y1WAatfJCC0/s1600/Amedisys_logo_RGB.jpg
The name gives almost no clue as to what the business actually does. If it was an obscure megacorporation it would be alright, but the name is just forgettable for a health services company.
43. Dairy Air

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-S6QQ0vXvrrw/T4rItcwcZ-I/AAAAAAAHTe8/8dni33VllTE/s250-c-k/Dairy%2BAir%2BHeating%2Band%2BCooling
They will get to the bottom of all your heating and cooling woes.
44. Well Hung Curtains
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTiy6cm3HADobxSDdhl-P7nYOXi8exByRJlWNgR6MhT6CoPsIh0Wg
Size does matter when giving your windows proper shading.
45. Tís Me
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSXcBR_MXfUhP5f4Vn81ioiDsGOAxU162ZWxcdZAwNhzHO5019L
The name would work if t-shirts were considered sexy when worn by anyone except Jessica Alba.
46. The Stalk Market
http://www.foodbizsupply.com/media/aitmanufacturers/30.jpg
Wall Street would be a more colorful place if this store was on it.
47. Copy Cat Reproductions
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8jc22SRZ3QM6VKARdZyPI75H7euY2qwXHedKwrROVqAMHFS3QSQ
It might be impossible to say the name without feeling like you are discussing the copier version of a childís lemonade stand.
48. A Pane in the Glass

The double pun name is so agonizing it might cause the real pain they were referring to with it.

49. Pentaho Networks
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSn4vTFuRYAWLeNS4S0wmAdb76zdCA1MPBJJjhmip8SlyQMsgN4KQ
The network configuration of groups of five prostitutes is very intriguing work.
50. Beaver Cleaners

Your wife or girlfriend would never forgive you for hiring them once the van rolled in front of the house.


 

25 Worst Business Names Of All Time

October 19, 2010 | 4 Comments Ľ | Topics: compilation

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28 Of The Worst Business Names Of All Time

April 25, 2013 | 1 Comment Ľ | Topics: LOL

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The 21 Worst Business Names Ever

Posted: 3 years ago by Smosh

Naming your business something clever can be difficult. For these people, it proved impossible...

Which is your favorite business name?

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-tilicum.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-boring.jpg

 

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http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-barf.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-repair.png

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-nipples.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-dicks.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-bunghole.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-erection.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-blueballs.jpg

 

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http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-viruswoman.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-golden-shower.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-hair.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-knockers.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-lovejuice.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-beaver.jpg

 

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-gayfish.jpg

http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/names-flicks.png


 

The 15 Worst Business Names

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We can't imagine what was going through the heads of the people who named these businesses.

1.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/6mE8oBCCCsgFdgG.jpg

2.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/oXRGUEZj0np4i5A.jpg

3.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/YMabGU0GC4oSNWw.jpg

4.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/AEG0m72LXZxTDUf.jpg

5.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/CQhU7DnxKjRsSET.jpg

6.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/HjbpwjCPcDWBeF3.jpg

7.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/o7rIsLzhTo3kMKo.jpg

8.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/B7X3XexzQGVZqyv.jpg

9.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/HAtV3zSZrkzK4IG.jpg

10.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/TiNOonw45zMbB7O.jpg

11.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/gEuqNMYyHvcJzhh.jpg

12.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/cwA5LbzzLLUdooi.jpg

13.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/JgCdkVShu6M03n8.jpg

14.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/qUThccO7GNvyoYj.jpg

15.

http://squaremile.com/filestorage/imageupload/wrBHUTEJSt3j07J.jpg


 

Thereís A Lot Going On Here

Really Honing In On That Niche

MENíS Hair Salon? You Donít Say

Tough For The Other Pizza Places To Beat This Offer

Hands Down Worst Store In The Mall

 

Get All That Resin Out

I Still Miss Beavis and Butthead

 

The Logo Really Completes The Name

Nouns Into Verbs

Reinforcing Unfortunate Stereotypes

 

The Suspense Is Killing Me. Chicken, Fish & What??

 

 

Surely They Realize? Right?

Painful

 

Cow Trouble

 

Before and after

 

Could They Make This Any Dirtier?

 

SWAT Team Is On The Way

 

Selling Wood

 

Astroglide Finally Has Competition

 

Finally Found It!

 

Refusing To Recognize Hawaii Since 1959

 

Destroying Stereotypes

 

I Knew Plenty Of Girls In College Who Managed To Do This Without Special ID Cards Ö

 

 

 

 

Harsh

 

How Many Guys Across America Have Chosen This For Their Bait Store Name? Iím Guessing Quite A Few

 

Cultural Differences

Live Ö

 

Aim For The Middle, Itís Easier

This All Needs To Be One Store, I Agree

Tapping Into A Reliable Market

Way Too Dangerous

 

Clearly Nobody Felt It Was Their Place To Tell The Owners Ö Awkward

 

Real Discrete

The First Motel To Charge By The Minute?

Thatís Ok, Iím Good

 

This Just Seems Mean